


hide nothing (for time exposes all)

by cartoonheart



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), The Hour
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartoonheart/pseuds/cartoonheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bel hears someone screaming and crying. She thinks it might be her. Freddie lies there, as still as a corpse apart from the occasional flutter of an eyelid, the modest rise and fall of his chest. There is blood everywhere, and now it is on her hands, the same colour as her dress. </p>
<p>"I can help him," Randall stresses in a low whisper. "Let me help him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	hide nothing (for time exposes all)

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I apologise for any ridiculous plot-holes. 
> 
> 2\. Time differential comes from the _Doctor Who_ Children in Need special _[Time Crash](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I76p1cZbq4)_.
> 
> 3\. The chameleon arc, in this case, is blatantly stolen from Series 3 of _Doctor Who_.
> 
> 4\. Inspired by the recent _Doctor Who_ casting for the Twelfth Doctor (with some fancasting for the Thirteenth).
> 
> 5\. Any lapses or hand-waving of canon for either _Doctor Who_ or _The Hour_ is entirely my doing.

Bel hears someone screaming and crying. She thinks it might be her.

Freddie lies there, as still as a corpse apart from the occasional flutter of an eyelid, the modest rise and fall of his chest. There is blood everywhere, and now it is on her hands, the same colour as her dress. 

She squeezes Freddie's hand and almost doubles over in relief when he squeezes it back. The response is faint, like a distant echo, but she'll take it as long as it means he is still there, still with her.

"Don't you dare leave me, Freddie," Bel pleads, hunched over beside him. The grass makes her stockings wet and she feels as cold as ice, but it doesn't matter.

Where the hell are the paramedics?

Suddenly, there is a hand on her shoulder, the grip firm and authoritative. 

"Bel."

She turns and sees Mr Brown through hazy eyes, the edges blurred with her unshed tears.

"Come away, Ms Rowley," he says calmly, as if he is guiding her into a meeting or to the canteen for a cup of tea. But Bel is determined that she's not going anywhere, not leaving Freddie alone for a second, not letting go of his hand.

"No," she half-sobs, trying to twist out of Randall's grasp. Unsurprisingly he's stronger than her and he does not relinquish his grasp.

"I can help him," Randall stresses in a low whisper. "Let me help him." There is something odd in the tone of his voice, but Bel can't pick what it is. But if it means helping Freddie then she'll do whatever she can, concede wherever she has to. She's not sure what Randall thinks he will be able to do, but until help arrives she is willing to try anything. Hector appears at her other shoulder, and she lets both men help her up. Bel's knees are weak, her shoes ruined. Freddie's eyes are closed again, and she releases a soft cry.

Randall produces something from his suit pocket and flashes it at the two security guards who have been hovering. It is something like a badge or a piece of paper, Bel can't see it from where she stands, but it is enough to make the security guards stiffen in response and nod.

"Keep the crowd back," Randall tells them, and so the two men back off, following orders. A small group of curious onlookers have gathered some distance away, all craned necks and urgent whisperings. Bel would rather they didn't stare at Freddie like he is some kind of attraction.

"What are you doing?" Bel hears herself ask. Hector is half holding her up, arms strong against her waist. She feels his grip tighten as if keep her back.

"Sissy!" Randall calls out, and suddenly Miss Cooper appears at his shoulder, looking upset but determined. He says something quietly to her that Bel can't hear and Sissy scampers off as fast as her heels will carry her.

"What's going on?" Bel tries again. Something strange is happening, and she's scared. Scared for Freddie mostly, but there is also an oddity in the air, like time has slowed down. Randall finally turns to look at her again. His eyes are stormy, a harsh kind of intensity that she hasn't seen from him before.

"Ms Rowley, please trust me. Mr Lyon will be fine. I will make sure he is fine. I'm... a doctor."

Bel is momentarily flabbergasted, and half persuades herself that she must be hearing things.

"You're not a _doctor_."

"I _am_." Randall asserts, almost peevishly. He manoeuvres his tall frame down onto the grass next to Freddie's prone form, starts examining his hands, his wrists.

"Since when have you been a doctor?" Hector adds now, his grip loosening on Bel in his confusion. 

"Trust me, I am." Randall replies distractedly, now pulling some contraption out of another pocket, and shining it in Freddie's face. It hums bizarrely, and Randall tilts his head to one side and tuts. 

"Well, that explains that," he mutters to himself. "I thought I was looking a bit weathered but as I suspected, that is clearly _your_ fault, Mr Lyon." He says the last part with a degree of exasperation, as if he expected nothing different. 

None of this really makes any sense and Bel's decided she has had quite enough. 

"What are you talking about? Have you completely lost your mind?" She manages to wriggle free from Hector's arms this time, and he doesn't try and reclaim her. Bel sinks to her knees next to Freddie and takes his limp hand in hers. His chest is still moving, a rhythmic but shallow rise and fall, but his eyes are now firmly shut.

"Where are the paramedics?" she curses, tears threatening to choke her again. It feels like it has been hours but really it could only have been minutes. She can't bear seeing Freddie like this, so motionless and quiet. It is so contrary to him in every way.

"They're not coming." Randall says, distractedly. He's now pointing the whirring thing at Freddie's chest, humming and clucking as he goes. Now that Bel's closer she can see it shines a luminous green, like a neon sign.

"What do you mean they aren't coming?!"

"Paramedics aren't going to help him. He doesn't need that sort of help."

"What do you mean he doesn't need that sort of help? Look at him!"

Randall finally takes a second to glance across at her. He appears to be rather piqued with her persistent line of questioning.

"I'll explain but first I just need to..."

He's now shining the light down Freddie's legs, a frown settling between his eyes. 

"Have you gone completely insane?!" Bel cries, trying to get up again but finding her legs uncooperative. "Someone call an ambulance! Please!" She hopes someone will hear her, or that Randall is mistaken about help not coming.

"Randall is right, darling," a voice to Bel's left says. Lix moves down to settle next to her on the grass. Her eyes are focused on Freddie, her expression sad. "Trust him. He _can_ help."

Bel doesn't need this right now. Everyone seems to have gone completely insane. Freddie needs help. Proper help. He needs an ambulance and a hospital and real doctors, not Randall losing the plot and the entire team losing it with him.

"How can he help!?" Bel cries, her body now buckling with frustrated sobs, her chest about to burst with the ache of it all. Randall appears far too calm, considering the situation. Lix for that matter too.

"He's the doctor," Lix says, taking Bel's hand in her own. She says it with a confidence that Bel knows is meant to reassure her, but in truth just raises more questions. 

"Yes, he said he was a doctor but that doesn't make any sense. I don't -"

"Not a doctor. _The_ Doctor."

"The Doctor? God Lix, what are you talking about?" Bel is about ready to wring someone's neck because if this farce endangers Freddie even slightly then there will be hell to pay and she'll gladly deliver the retribution.

"Doctor! Doctor!" Sissy is running across the grass, heels sinking in the damp. There is something shiny dangling from her hands, gleaming under the nearby lights. As the girl gets closer, Bel sees it is a pocket watch, large and solid. 

"I hope I'm not too late," Sissy huffs, out of breath as she passes the item to Randall. The older man takes it, lets it rest solidly in his outspread palm, quiet for a moment. It is almost imperceptible but Bel sees a shudder pass through him.

"That's Freddie's pocket watch," Bel whispers, now recognising it. She must have seen it a million times before. Freddie didn't really wear it, but he did tend to have it nearby - tucked away in a drawer, in his pocket, on his bedside table. Bel had always assumed it was his father's, that it had some sentimental value.

"Sort of," Randall corrects, and Bel wonders what he knows - what would Randall know about any of this? About Freddie? But then again Bel had only found out that Randall was apparently a trained doctor, or something, so obviously that hasn't been the only secret that Mr Brown has been hiding.

"Is that what I think it is?" asks Lix suddenly, her voice coming out in an awed hush. Bel doesn't think she's ever heard Lix use that tone before. It is almost reverential.

"Yes." Randall answers curtly. "But we can't do this here."

"Where's the TARDIS?" Lix asks.

"Just around the side of the building," Sissy answers, pointing vaguely off into the darkness. "But we'll have to carry him."

"What? No! We can't _move_ him!" Bel has had enough of this incomprehensible chat going on over Freddie's battered body like he isn't even there. Everyone seems to be talking in riddles, and only Hector looks as bewildered as Bel feels.

Randall frowns, considering. "We'll have to," he decides finally. "The process could go far too wrong if we do it here, especially considering his injuries. The TARDIS can at least help with the transition."

"No, no, no!" Bel scrambles up from her knees, staring down at them all fiercely. "None of this makes any sense. You've all gone crazy! He needs a hospital. Needs professional help. We can't just cart him to a... a... whatever-you-call-it! My god, _Freddie_."

She is trying to be strong again, but everything is a mess, and there is something very strange going on that she doesn't understand. But right now she doesn't care about that. She just needs Freddie to be okay.

Randall finally seems to register her distress. He eases himself up from the ground, walks over to her, and places a hand on each of her shoulders. He looks her directly in the eyes, and there is something different about his manner now. It is assertive but compassionate, entirely different than usual. 

"Ms Rowley. Bel. I know you're scared. And I know that none of this makes sense. But we all want to help Freddie, we all want him to be okay. And I can help him. Let me help him. I can explain everything to you later, but for now, can you trust me?"

There is something so earnest about his request and the way that Lix and Sissy stare at him with pride and hope that makes Bel silently, reluctantly, nod her assent. 

"Good," Randall replies. He spins on his heels. "Mr Madden, give me a hand, will you?"

Bel is almost glad that Freddie is unconscious when they pick him up. Because although she can see they are trying to be careful, she could only imagine the pain he would be in otherwise if he were awake. Lix takes Bel's hand and they follow Sissy who leads the way into the shadows.

After a few moments, Sissy stops and opens the door of a battered blue police box. Bel has never noticed it there before. 

"In here," she says, ducking inside.

Bel immediately protests. "In there? We can't all fit in there!"

Lix's hand presses against the small of her back, propelling her forward. "Take a look," she urges calmly. Bel steps forward.

And somehow when she crosses the threshold, she finds herself in a enormous room. It's impossible.

"I don't understand," Bel says, as Lix guides her up what appears to be a walk way towards an odd looking central console. There is a dull hum, almost like a vibration, under her feet, like this strange box is alive. 

"Welcome to the TARDIS," Sissy says proudly. "It's the Doctor's spaceship. It travels through time and space! It stands for Time and Relative Dimension-"

"- In Space." Lix finishes, and gives Sissy a small tight smile. A shared look of understanding passes between them.

There are too many thoughts racing through Bel's mind right now, and as Hector helps Randall carry Freddie through the doors she can see that he is having the same thoughts as her too. His eyes practically bulge out of their sockets trying to comprehend what lies in front of him.

"Randall?" Bel starts before he cuts her off with shake of his head.

"Later, Ms Rowley" Randall says as he and Hector manage to get Freddie up the entrance way and lay him out on the floor next to the central column. "More pressing matters to hand."

The bright lights of this bizarre room only serve to illuminate Freddie's injuries, the vibrant red of the blood. Bel feels sick again, her confusion at everything that is going on now pushed down under her gut-wrenching panic.

We're not impossible, she thinks, chanting it over and over in her mind. We're _possible_ , _possible_ , _possible_.

"You'll all need to stand back," Randall instructs, standing over Freddie's motionless body. He pulls the pocket watch out of his suit and pushes his glasses up his nose.

"Why has he been using that?" Lix asks, pulling Bel backwards with her until they are pressed up against the railing.

"The usual reasons, I suppose," Randall answers. He appears to be transfixed by the markings on the pocket watch's lid, as if they stirred a long lost memory. "Apparently future me is just as prone as past and present me at finding trouble."

"Future you?" Hector asks from his position near the door. He seems reluctant to come any closer.

Randall points down at Freddie. "Future me." He points back to himself. "Present me." He states this as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, well that clears that up," Hector answers sarcastically.

"Not now, Hector," Lix scowls. 

"Will he be alright, Doctor?" Sissy asks. Bel notices now that there are tears on her cheeks as she glances down at Freddie. Bel wonders how Sissy seems to know so much about what is going on.

"We'll see," replies Randall (the Doctor? - Bel thinks). He turns to Bel. "This may upset you Ms Rowley, but I assure you this should work to save him." There is a bizarre sort of omnipotence to him that unnerves Bel. Undoubtedly, Randall had always been, in her mind, slightly _different_ \- the way he fiddled with things, for instance- but Bel had never dreamt that that included whatever was going on here. He seemed more alive than she had ever seen him before.

So Bel just lets herself nod, accepting Lix's comforting arm around her shoulder and stands back.

Randall opens the pocket watch.

\--

The golden light is so bright that in the end Bel has to look away. It envelops Freddie, like a cloud of dust particles, only more vibrant, more alive. They move as if they have a mind of their own, shining, covering him until he is barely visible.

Lix lets Bel bury her head in her shoulder, but even Lix has to look away in the end. Bel feels the room shaking, like what she imagines a small earthquake feels like. There is something like a rumble in her ear, but it isn't loud, more like a freight train passing in the distance.

When a silence falls, Bel looks up. Randall hasn't moved; has remained hunched over Freddie's body. Bel's breath catches in her throat. Freddie is still motionless. Sissy inches forward around the console, slowly moving closer. Hector exchanges a concerned glance with Lix.

More silence.

And then Freddie gasps like a drowning man just pulled from the ocean, reclaiming air. The movement is enough for his back to arch off the floor violently, and Bel feels hot tears trickling down her face. Lix squeezes her shoulder in comfort, utters a cry of relief.

"Welcome back," Randall says gruffly, staring down at the patient. Freddie seems to already be trying to sit up but Randall pushes him back down, and pulls out the whirring device again.

The sight of Randall's face seems to shock Freddie into hyper-alertness. He's already trying to scramble off the floor with movements that seems far too easy considering his earlier injuries. 

"What are you doing here?" Freddie cries, looking at Randall in mortification. 

Randall rolls his eyes. "Hello to you too. And you're welcome. I'm here saving your skin."

Freddie catches a glimpse at his own blood soaked shirt. "Oh, I liked this suit," he mutters disappointedly before finally managing to pull himself upwards into a sitting position. He allows Randall to continue his examination with a resigned sigh.

"You'll live," Randall says finally when he's done. He puts the object back into his pocket. 

"Grand." Freddie says with a grin. "You look a bit worse for wear though. Did I always look that old when I was you or is it my recent knock to the head that's making me see things?"

Bel is a bit perturbed that Freddie is describing what he just went through as 'a knock on the head' but on the other hand, she's also just so relieved that he seems to be alive, and positively _well_ even, that a little confusion seems a reasonable bargain.

"Time differential," Randall mutters. "Both of us in the same place can do that to a Time Lord."

"Suits you though," Freddie replies. "Very dignified. More serious, quite dashing. Oh, hello there Hector! Hello Sissy!" Freddie's gnat-like attention span finally shifts his focus and sees both Bel and Lix.

"Sorry about all that," Freddie cringes sheepishly, as if he is apologising for a breach of decorum rather than scaring them all half to death. Something about him seems different, more cavalier than normal, and Bel is half-wondering whether that knock of the head hadn't done some more damage after all.

Randall gets up from his position on the floor, and pulls out his pocket handkerchief and throws it in Freddie's direction. Freddie nods his thanks, and uses it to start wiping the blood off his face. It smears a bit, some of now stuck to his skin. Bel is surprised to see that his face almost looks normal - barely a scratch or a bruise on him. What _was_ that golden light?

Slowly Bel finds her sense, her feet, and approaches him. Lix is reluctant to let go of her hand, but does eventually. Bel moves down onto the floor, the surface hard against her cold wet knees. It is only when she is right next to him that Freddie stops fussing, manages to glance up at her, almost embarrassed.

"Hello Bel," he murmurs, crumpling the handkerchief into his fist, staring at her. 

Bel stares back at him for long moments. That angular face, sharp eyes, hair falling in every direction. 

"Don't you _ever_ do that again to me, Frederick Lyon!" She can't help but scold him for terrifying the life out of her, for having her have to imagine a life without him in it. Before she can stop herself, she kisses him hard on the mouth. His lips still taste metallic from the blood and she's clearly startled him with her actions because he lets out a little cry of surprise.

As she pulls away, he stares at her, mouth open. She pulls his hand into her lap and turns to face Randall, who by now has moved to hover next to Sissy and Lix.

"Now will someone _please_ tell me what the _hell_ is going on?" Bel demands.

\--

Sissy makes everyone a cup of tea, but Bel wishes there was something a bit stronger to hand. Hector looks like he agrees.

Normally, Bel would think this was all completely mad. That Randall and now Freddie had both gone completely insane and needed to be hauled off to the nearest sanatorium. But then again, at this rate, she'll need to go with them, considering as it appears she is currently sitting in a police box that was bigger on the inside, and she'd just watched her best friend be magically cured by a pocket watch. So Bel figures she at least deserved to take it all in with an open mind.

"How did you find me?" Freddie asks Randall, nursing the cup of tea between his blood-stained fingers. He almost looked completely fine now - nothing a bath and a change of clothes wouldn't fix, Bel thinks. Barely any time ago he'd looked half-dead, and now he looks positively bursting with life as usual. 

"My TARDIS," Randall replies. "She landed here and refused to budge. I figured the stubborn old girl wanted us to see something. Then once I realised that being here had aged me physically, I knew that I must be crossing my own timeline. It was obvious after that."

"I was still obvious, despite the chameleon arc?" Freddie asked.

"Not to everyone," Randall's eyes skirt the room, clearly classifying the rest of them as 'everyone'. "But I knew what to look for, and once I realised that Sissy was with you, keeping an eye on you, well, she filled me in on the rest. However I needed to make sure that whatever you were hiding from had gone before I opened the watch. But then all this happened..." He waves his hand dismissively, goes back to tinkering with some levers on the console. "You've certainly changed things around," he mutters before asking "who were you hiding from anyway?"

"Long story," Freddie says. "You'll find out one day anyway."

"So wait," Hector says, speaking up from his corner. "So, in this Time Lord regeneration thing, Randall is the earlier version, and you're the later?" He points to Randall and Freddie in turn.

"Can I say?" Freddie defers to Randall for approval. Randall shrugs, catches Lix's eye. Her lips thin.

Freddie can barely contain himself. "This is my thirteenth body. He's my twelfth. Don't worry-" he says, waving a hand at Randall, a trait that both of them seem to share, seemingly now apparently being the same person, "-I won't tell you what happens to you."

"How kind," Randall drawls.

"Anyway, I hid. Gave Sissy instructions not to open the pocket watch whilst there was still a chance I was in danger."

"The modulator broke," Sissy cries, rather upset. "I couldn't get any readings - I didn't want to risk opening it in case it wasn't safe. I figured I could fix it. Lix was helping me until the Doctor - Mr Brown, that is - showed up."

Randall's eyebrows rise in surprise and he steals another glance at Lix who appears to be resolutely refusing to look at him.

"It's fine, Sissy," Freddie continues reassuringly. "I quite enjoyed myself, although perhaps didn't intend to stay on the slow path this long. Four years, was it? How _do_ you humans cope?"

"We're used to it, Doctor," Sissy smiles affectionately, and Freddie gives her a friendly grin in return. Bel feels her insides twist in jealousy.

"So, you're not really Freddie Lyon?" Hector asks, finally raising the question that Bel hasn't been brave enough to ask herself for fear of the answer. 

Freddie takes a sip of his tea, continuing to avoid Bel's eyes. "Well, I'm Freddie Lyon and Freddie Lyon is me, but he doesn't exist. Not really."

"Of course you exist!" Bel can't stop herself from exclaiming. "Look at you - you're here! You're fine!"

"Yes, but I'm not _him_ ," Freddie points out. The Doctor, she supposes, although it is hard to recast Freddie with someone else's name. True, there are differences to them both, she can see that now from looking closer. But there are also enough similarities that cause her to cling to what she knows. This man is brash and flippant and his eyes are still sharp and clear and curious.

"I know it's a lot to take in, darling," Lix says, her arm wrapping around Bel again. "The Doctor does tend to leave carnage in his wake." Her tone is pointed and hollow. Bel wants to know Lix's story, the story that so clearly exists between whatever happened with her and Randall. The Doctor. The Doctor. Bel must get used to calling him that.

"So with the watch... you didn't know you were the... the Doctor?" Bel feels ridiculous saying it. She is also trying not to cry again. She's so sick of crying. She's cried more in the past hour than she has in years. But if this is all real and not some figment of her shocked imagination, what is really happening is the death of Freddie, even though on some level it also isn't - because the man with his face sits in front of her. There is nothing straightforward about this whole situation at all.

Freddie (because she can't help but call him that still) reaches out and grasps her hand. It feels the same as it always has, still fits perfectly with hers, except slightly cooler to the touch. "No, I didn't know. The point of the chameleon arc is that anything that identifies me as a Time Lord is locked away, and I become human. And I forget my Time Lord memories, my past, and I become a new man. For all purposes, I was Freddie Lyon. I became him, and he existed because of me."

"And so now what?" Bel's voice wavers. Holds.

"And now I'm the Doctor again. Now back to travelling, I suppose." he admits, looking around at the machine that surrounds them.

"And what happened... as Freddie... do you remember?"

He looks at her now, and knows what she is asking. She can see the history in his eyes, the wisdom and power and the ways that this man is different to Frederick Lyon, even if in many ways he is the same.

"Yes," he answers. "Everything. And it was _wonderful_."

She smiles.

"Except for that last part. That was quite painful," he adds.

\--

It slowly becomes clearer, the more and more they talk. Hector's fallen asleep on a jumpseat, and Bel's eyes are heavy, but she's also scared what will happen if she closes them. Lix and Randall are muttering furiously to each other in the far corner. Sissy looks tired too, perched next to Freddie, who is asleep. Randall had muttered something about 'residual human habits', making it sound like the worst burden in the world.

Bel is almost drifting off herself when Lix approaches. Her face is stormy but determined. 

"C'mon darling," Lix says. "Time to get you home."

"Home?" Bel says. "No, I'm not leaving Freddie. The Doctor. Freddie. Whatever his name is."

"Don't worry. I've extracted a promise that they'll both stay put until you have had some rest. I have a feeling you'll want to deal with tomorrow after a good sleep."

Bel stops resisting and let's Lix half-carry her. She feels like this whole evening has been a dream, and so she glances over her shoulder to take a final look. Randall gives her a small wave as they exit.

"Are you alright, Bel, dear? I know it has been a lot to take in."

"How do you know so much about all this?"

Lix sighs, as if anticipating that the question was coming. She stops, releases Bel, and lights them a cigarette each before she answers.

"I used to travel with the Doctor, when I was younger."

"Freddie... or...?"

"No, with Randall - as you call him. We travelled together for many years, saw amazing things. We were very close. I loved him. He loved me." Lix is very matter-of-fact about the last part. "And then he left me behind."

"He just left you?"

"Oh, the Doctor isn't good at saying goodbye. When you've lived as long as he has, you have to say goodbye a lot. He isn't very fond of facing the truth."

"The truth?"

Lix smiles sadly, the smoke from her cigarette curling in the air around her. It is crisp and cold and Bel shivers. "That humans grow old. We die. That we leave him. And so he leaves us first."

Bel doesn't even want to imagine it. "That must have been horrible."

For once, Lix doesn't hide behind a mask of invincibility. "It was the worst experience of my life."

"God," is all Bel can find to say. And she thought this evening couldn't get any more tangled.

\--

Freddie's changed clothes when Bel arrives at the TARDIS the next morning. In the daylight it seems even less inconspicuous, but if she's honest, she is mostly relieved that the whole thing wasn't just some messy dream she'd had as a coping mechanism for the shock. She's also not really ready for whatever is going to come next, whatever that might be.

"A cravat?" she questions as he opens the door. The immensity of the room still stuns her as much as the first time as she follows him inside. She notices he looks at home here.

"Cravats are very sophisticated," Freddie - the Doctor - responds. There isn't anyone else there apart from the two of them.

"Where's Randall? Sissy?" Bel asks, her hand gliding along the smooth surface of the console. There are so many levers and buttons and she would love to know what they all do. The TARDIS emits a low humming sound, almost like a sigh of contentment. Bel jerks her hand away in surprise.

"Other me has gone back to his own TARDIS," the Doctor with Freddie's face explains. "Sissy has decided that she wants to stay with Sey. I think she's had enough of adventures with me, which is fair enough - considering. She's actually originally from the 1960s anyway, so a decade back isn't too much of an adjustment for her."

Bel nods as if understanding.

"What about Lix?" she questions.

The Doctor smiles, turning to fiddle with a monitor that looks like a miniature television. "Oh, well she's going to be just fine!"

"How do you know?"

"Well, considering I've already been that version of me, and I know what happens in my past, I have it on pretty good authority. Unless I've mucked it up again, but I don't think I - he - would make that same mistake twice when it comes to Lix."

"He... you?... loved her?" It feels odd to talk to him about this. To this not-Freddie about loving another woman.

His façade of exuberance dulls, his voice quieter, as if unused to being questioned like this. "Of course," he fiddles with a dial, unable to meet Bel's eyes. "Why... why do you think I left her in the first place?"

There is a sadness there, a heavy regret, but it also explains so much. The way that Randall had always stared at Lix, and the way she had blazed past him. The way that Freddie, _her_ Freddie, had succumbed to Lix's not inconsiderable charms in the past. The desire that never quite went away.

Bel is learning that time travel and life with the Doctor really was very much a never-ending labyrinth. The interchangeable use of 'he' and 'I' were already enough to almost cause Bel's head to explode. But that wasn't the reason she was here.

"And so what are your plans now?"

"Back on the road! Well, less the road and more like the time vortex, I mean."

"And you can go wherever and whenever you choose?"

The Doctor meets her eyes, peers at Bel closely, studying her as if an exhibit at a museum. The more time she spends with this man, the more Bel is beginning to realise how other-worldly he is. But there was also a part of Freddie Lyon deep down inside him and she wants to cling to it, despite her better judgement. Because although in truth she now knows and understands that the Doctor and Freddie are not the same person, and one was not really a substitute for the other, it comforts her to think that without all the extras - the new suit, the ability to change his face, and well, the _time_ machine - all the human parts that had made up Freddie Lyon were still inside this man. Deep down, maybe. But still there.

"I thought you didn't like travelling," the Doctor says suspiciously. Bel knows that he is remembering how she had stayed while Freddie had left. But things are different now. These past twenty-four hours have made her completely different.

"I've changed my mind," Bel answers pointedly.

The Doctor sighs sadly, almost looks hurt. He takes her hand, and presses it to his chest. There is the unmistakable feeling of two heartbeats under Bel's palm, and if she had any residual uncertainties about how alien this man was, she knows that that would have cured them.

"Bel, I'm not _him_. I'm not Freddie. And I know that is hard, but I need you to understand that. I can't be a replacement for him."

"I'm not asking you to be a replacement. It is okay that you're... _different_ " she finishes lamely. She's not completely confident in her voice, but Bel knows she is resolved in what she's saying. 

He doesn't look reassured, but seems to accept her at her word. "But I do remember everything, you know. I still have all his memories, and although he wasn't me, Freddie was the most human parts of me." 

The Doctor seems to have developed a fascination with his own feet, so intently was he staring at them.

"And while I maybe can't give you what he could have given you, that doesn't mean that I won't care for you any less than he did. I _do_ care for you - just as much. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

There it is, the confession. She smiles, small at first, then slowly broadening.

"Is that an invitation then?"

The Doctor looks up, and although they are Freddie's eyes, framed by Freddie's face, there is more. There is something infinite about this man, she thinks. And Bel will take it, will pick the adventure with him every time.

He tilts his head, smiles at her, Freddie's smile, but different. "Nothing would make me happier if you would consider it," he offers humbly, although Bel's pretty sure that there are few people who would consider that what the Doctor has to offer was in any way humble.

"So where to we start?" she grins, gazing around at what she realises will be her new future. Her leap.

The Doctor laughs, brings her hand clasped in his and presses her fingers to his lips, kisses them softly. "Well, absolutely _everything_ is possible with you and I, Ms Rowley."

\--


End file.
